Kaal – it’s all about living up to your promise.

Yes, Kaal promised much. A songless thriller from The Karan Johar stable! Set in Jim Corbett, an array of dazzling stars, an item number from the Chaiyya Chaiyya pair and a man eater tiger to moot. And super cool promos which got most of us excited.

But alas, kaal is all about a great promo and an ordinary product. It pretty much falls in the slasher fest genre which studiously sticks to the following rules ;

• Loud is scary. Yes, every scene is recorded with high pitched sound and screechy noises! Sure there could be a better way of scaring people.
• The hero’s best friends are the first to be killed. Here the character Vishal, dies twice in five minutes, if once was not bad enough.
• Point the needle of suspicion on the main characters and get them into a scuffle. We do not even get to see John and Vivek fight. The way their girl friends, get them to back off has to be seen to be believed.
  
• Have one scary dream sequence in the middle of nowhere, and expect the audience to wake up after that! Headless corpses are a must; throw a couple of them for good effect.
  
  But, hey this movie is set in Jim Corbett (read Orbit Park) and we need to talk about tiger conservation. Remember we have a marketing tie up with Nat Geo. Sure show a hanging owl and langoor dangling from a tree every twenty minutes and a python wrapped around John’s torso (strong suspicion that Karan insisted on this shot). And John is after all a “Tiger expert” working with Nat Geo.
  
  The acting skills in a slasher fest are strictly limited to the women shrieking, screaming, running and obviously dressed in skimpy clothes (remember no songs for such displays). And the men , Vivek Oberoi has perfected the art of being Mr. Irritating (with kajal and lipstick make up !) and considering his acting skills are rather limited , one can be rest assured his real life persona is not way different ( now do we blame Sallu for wanting to bash him up). Devgan who has a psychobabble mumbo jumbo background score blaring as he enters, has a staff to cover his face and his intense brooding eyes hope to add to the terror. John looks good and it’s a little too much to expect him to act.
  
  Yes, Kaal is all this and more! Do watch it, you would never complain about why Karan Johar makes the same kind of KKHH, KHNH, K3G movies. He should leave this genre to the Ramus of the world and not to forget the director of this venture is Soham Ali (he was assistant to both Ramu and Karan prior to this). One piece of advise to Soham, stick to assisting, it’s not such a bad thing.