Monday, July 21, 2008

Kismet Konnection (2008)

Warning: This review is going to be half baked, for I walked out of the movie half way through. I hardly walk out of movies, and I have sat through tones of terrible movies and Kismat Konnection is not the worst ive seen, but it’s just so painfully banal and boring! And the worst thing about a boring movie is that u can’t even laugh through it.

The movie starts innocuously enough with SRK's voice over extolling how kismet plays a role in everyone’s life. The movie is based in Canada, where every person (mind you, not every second person) speaks in Hindi and Mehra’s, Gill’s and Batra’s are all over the place. Maybe the director thought he could pass off Canada as Chembur (cinematic liberties at its best.)

The characters are Shahid Kapoor, a jobless architect who has the worst luck of his life every day and speaks to god every other day. His sidekick and partner who is forever stressed and tries hard to provide some comic relief.Miss Righteous Vidya Balan who runs an old age home dressed in the most hideous outfits.(Can she be mandated to dress up only in a saree from now on?) Husna Banu is Juhi Chawla, the crystal ball reader in the most annoying cameo in recent times. Om Puri is the real estate tycoon who enjoys his whisky and a game of billiards. His wife,Himani Shivpuri who wants to build a duplex for her lil doggy! And the villain - a classmate of Shahid who has all the right connections and drinks Cosmopolitan while swimming.

All these characters meet, incidents unfurl, Shahid dances very well to the title song and Vidya holds placards, smiles and wears more hideous clothes. Juhi foretells that a lucky charm will enter Shahids life. After Vidya nudges Shahid to hit a ball in the billiards table (this sequence is the clincher, its excruciatingly long at 15 minutes!), it dawns on Shahid that Vidya is his lucky charm! Shahid gets the contract for designing the mall contract which would come up after razing the old age home run by Vidya. And surprise, Shahid falls in love with Vidya and even bigger surprise Vidya is already engaged! No points for guessing what next, your guess is as good as mine.

This is when I walked out and was happy to step out to a bright Saturday evening!

Kismat Disconnection!

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